Category Archives: Comparison

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The time that I didn’t get the memo about what to wear

My husband, Brian, is an executive at General Electric and through the years, we’ve had many occasions to go to company dinners at country clubs and golf resorts. These events have always been hard for me!  I’m a down-to-earth girl who grew up roaming her grandmother’s farm, and I would much rather eat a burger and fries at Five Guys than a fancy meal at an expensive restaurant.

The question is always, “What do I wear?” I can’t remember what I ate yesterday, but I will never forget being in the ladies bathroom at the Landfall Country Club here in Wilmington. I was dressed in my frumpy mommy clothing, desperately trying to cover up leftover pregnancy weight, and the other wives were dressed like they could be on magazine covers. They looked like supermodels.appearance

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Declarations for parents of teenagers

Teenagers often don’t know when to keep their mouths shut.  A few years ago, a teenager boldly told me what their mother thought about me.  And then the teen went on to tell me their mother’s beliefs on parenting, which were very different from how I was raising my children.  The insinuation was this their mother did it the right way, and I did it the wrong way.

Honestly, I was crushed. And confused.  Insecurity joined the party as I questioned every aspect of my motherhood.  When I compared myself to this other mother, I came up wanting.

how to parent teenagers

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She looks amazing on the outside but she is crumbling on the inside

You see her sitting across from you in the coffee shop. You know, the professional woman who is typing away on her Mac. She is dressed head-to-toe in Ann Taylor and Michael Kors and her hair has looks like she just left the salon. You jealously gaze upon her, wishing that your life could be successful, too.

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I could never be as good as her

I sat with a group of beautiful women in the historic Hilltop House Restaurant in Fayetteville, NC. I was a visitor at the “Fayetteville Women’s Connection,” an outreach of Stonecroft Ministries. For the last nine months, I have been preparing to become a speaker for Stonecroft Ministries. During this time, I have written and rewritten my testimony – my story of how I came to know Jesus – to share with Stonecroft groups in the future.

The time we had all been waiting for arrived. The speaker stepped up to the podium. I was excited to hear her speak and to learn more about what a Stonecroft meeting was like. I began the meeting sitting on the edge of my seat, eager to learn.

She began her talk by engaging the audience by asking them their favorite Disney movies. Pretty soon she had us saying, when cued, “Once upon a time…” She smiled and nodded as she drew us in with her story. She was a dynamic speaker who had her thirty minute presentation completely memorized.

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Insecurity Lurks Beneath My Trendy J. Crew Outfit

Panty hose – check.
Cocktail dress – check.
Statement necklace – check.
Cute heels – check.

It was the time of year for holiday Christmas parties and we were invited to one with my husband’s coworkers.  I was all set to look festive and fun in my new dress but on the inside I was a complete wreck.

Insecurity Lurks Beneath My Trendy J. Crew Outfit

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Don’t let Christmas letters make you feel like a failure

It’s that time of year when your mailbox is full of Christmas cards and Christmas letters.  I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas letters. When we became parents I wrote them to keep friends and family updated on how Gregory and Hannah were growing and developing.  I share the comings and goings of our family and I try to keep it light, cheery, and funny.   I hope that my friends and family enjoy what I write to share with them.

Personally, I enjoy receiving Christmas letters and learning about the lives of my friends and family.  But some Christmas letters, straight up, make me feel like a big fat failure.

Christmas Letter (more…)

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How a failed date night left me feeling like a failure

This date night with my husband of twenty years didn’t turned out as I had planned. I had hoped that we would be enjoying hamburgers and fries and running errands like old married couples do. But as I took my shower at 5 PM I realized that I would not be going out at all. A migraine had ravaged my body earlier in the day and taking a  shower completely exhausted me. I sadly shared with my husband that he would need to go out alone and run the errands because my body needed to rest.  I felt like such a failure.
failure

Coco comforting me

The Proverbs 31 woman is one who provides for the needs of her household and I couldn’t even go out to the grocery store or CVS.  I want to be able to put healthy meals on the table and shop for my family and go out on a date with my husband.  But in this season there are times when my body won’t allow me to do those things.  So I feel like I have failed my husband and failed my family and failed in my responsibilities.

Do you ever feel like a failure too?

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Do you ever wish your personality was like someone else’s?

The sanctuary was filled with people who had turned out to remember a friend.  A dear member of our church, Phil Walls, had gone to be with Jesus a month ago, and a large crowd came to celebrate his life.  As the pastor turned over the microphone for friends to share memories about Phil’s life, the people responded en masse.  The service moved past the one hour mark, and still people lined up to share their moving tributes of the impact he had on their lives.  We learned how Phil was generous and fearless and how he was willing to go and serve.  He would drop everything to go and meet a need and went out of his way to minister to people.

impact

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I have a love/hate relationship with Women’s Conferences

Two weeks ago I attended the IF:Wilmington women’s conference in my hometown of Wilmington, NC.  There were around 800 women that attended with me.  It was a beautiful picture of the body of Christ because we were young, old, and middle-aged (me!) as well as black, white, Hispanic and Asian.  I was privileged to serve at the conference as a greeter so I was able to speak to many of the women who attended.

As they came in, I noticed things about their outward appearance. Short hair and long hair.  Boots and flats.  Long wavy hair and short pixie cuts.  Teens and grandmas.  Stylish and frumpy.
inner beauty

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