I haven’t had much to say lately. I used to write blog posts two to three times a week, but lately I only feel compelled to write about twice a month. I’m not really sure why. I will sit down at my favorite writing spots (a peaceful front porch or a trendy coffee shop) and I will grab my iPad, ready to write.
But no words come. I’m waiting in silence.
My family traveled to the mountains for Mother’s Day weekend. When I looked at the rental website, I saw a cottage that was by a lake. The pictures looked so peaceful and my overwhelmed soul longed for the peace that I saw in the lakeside beauty. I quickly made a deposit and signed the rental agreement. And then I looked forward with anticipation to sit by the tranquil lakeside, longing for the peace that it possessed.
“He leads me by still waters. He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:2
Let’s start with honesty. I have a broken heart. For weeks, my heart has hurt. At times, literally hurt. Looking at my life, it’s hard to see why. My children are healthy, my marriage is sound, and the bills are paid. But lately I have encountered a lot of conflict with people. I’ve been the subject of gossip, I’ve been hurt by trusted friends, and treasured relationships are in tatters. My heart is in tatters, too. 
It is hard to admit, but in defense of those who have hurt me, some of this is probably my fault. I’ve probably made some mistakes. But I’ve been following God’s leading to the best of my ability. I am sure there are things I could have done and said better. And I wish I had done it better. I’m left with a heart that is broken and friendships that are shredded to pieces like confetti. Jesus!
Sharing is caring. If this post encouraged you, will you share it on Facebook so that it could bless your friends,too? Thanks for helping me to reach more struggling women with encouragement, hope, and grace.God can tolerate messiness and disorder. Bless my heart, I just can’t. There is just no pretty way of saying it. If the pillows on the couch are askew then I feel compelled to straighten them. If I am sitting in the recliner and notice a picture that is crooked, I will make a mental note to fix it as soon as I get up. If there is a weed in the grass, I am pulling it. I have very little tolerance of chaos.
Sharing is caring. If this post encouraged you, will you share it on Facebook so that it could bless your friends,too? Thanks for helping me to reach more struggling women with encouragement, hope, and grace.