All I could do was stare at the screen on my Kindle. I was in the middle of a great Civil War book, but my eyes glazed over as the words blurred before me. Minutes passed by. No words can describe the depth of despair that I was feeling. Life had kicked me in the gut again.
As I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes with my pillowcase, I prayed for help. What I wanted to pray was that I would just die in the middle of the night and not wake up to my life the next day. I felt somewhat justified in this desire to die. I had found in 1 Kings 19:4 that Elijah the prophet, a man of great faith and power, had also experienced a similar weak moment. He was running for his life from Jezebel and found himself under a juniper tree. There he prayed that he would die. He said, “God, I’ve had enough. Take me now.”
Those were my sentiments exactly.
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