It had been a horrible week. I was finishing up one of my seminary classes that had required mounds and mounds of work. My anxiety level was through the roof. Sadly, just to function like a normal adult, I had to take a lot of medication. Otherwise, my heart would just race and race, which feels horrible. The medication calmed my heart so that I could feel normal and function like I used to.

During this week of overwhelming schoolwork, I fought anxiety tooth and nail. I battled it during breakfast. I prayed while I took a walk. I practiced mindful meditation in the bed. But still, anxiety had kicked my butt and I was exhausted. I was weary of the daily, even hourly, fight to live like God created my body to function.

Then I got an unexpected punch in the gut.

I was listening to a Christian message about the Holy Spirit.  I speak and I teach and I preach, so this is a normal thing for me to do.  I was enjoying it and learning a lot. Then, the speaker said that anxiety, fear, and panic were “Lordship issues.” They were areas of unbelief where people did not have enough faith.  I was crushed. Big fat tears welled up in my eyes. I sobbed for the next thirty minutes, and took to my bed for the afternoon.

You see, more than anything, I want to please Jesus. I want to make Him happy. I want to follow His commands, because the Bible says that’s what we have to do to love Jesus. And I live to love Jesus with my whole heart. That is my purpose.  The description of anxiety was unbelief equates it to sin.

I had valiantly fought anxiety all week. To hear that my anxiety meant that I was not trusting Jesus and that I had not made Him Lord was like a knife to my heart. Besides the deep hurt, these words made me want to quit fighting. To end the battle. To end my life.

In that moment, being with Jesus seemed like a better option than fighting with anxiety.

More often than not, the Christian church, as a whole, does not understand anxiety and panic disorders.  This breaks my heart because the sick, including those with mental illness, should find help, not condemnation, in the church. Jesus’ mission was to the marginalized of society, to the broken and hurting. I believe that He has compassion on those who struggle with mental illness.

For many struggling with mental illness, the church and fellow Christians say that if you will just trust Jesus more, try harder, and believe more, then your mental illness will just go away.  

While the speaker’s words crushed me, they also provoked me to action. I was only taking half of my prescribed dose of Zoloft (a depression medication that is used as a preventative for anxiety), so I went back up to the full dose.

And the next day I made an appointment with a therapist.  After a couple of years of fighting anxiety by myself, I decided to enlist the help of a Christian counselor. Therapists understand that anxiety and panic are mental illnesses. They are brain disorders, and they can be caused by health problems such as thyroid disorders. Therapists can teach you how to manage anxiety, and even even conquer it.

I was no longer fighting anxiety alone.

It’s been about almost two years since that crushing day when I felt like my struggle with a mental illness was just sin.  I can look back now, and be thankful, because that day caused me to reach up for help.  I’m doing so much better than I was then.  I’m taking much less medication, and I’m no longer seeing a therapist. I’ve graduated!  Far more often than not, I feel normal.

And hopefully the Christian church, of whom I am a part, is learning and growing in respect to mental illness as well.

If you have felt like the Christian church has not understood you and your mental struggle, I’m sorry.  As I Christian leader, I apologize.  I know that it’s hard to be told to “try harder” in order to get better.  But perhaps it’s time for you, like me, to seek out the help of a trained professional, whether its your medical doctor or a therapist or counselor or psychiatrist.  I pray that you, like me, will begin the journey to recovery.

The post For a Christian, is anxiety a sin? appeared first on Lisa Morgan Moore.

Many people who knew me “then” and see me “now” are surprised to see that Lisa Morgan Moore, of all people, is a Christian!  My teenage and college years were full of rebellion and deep, dark sin.  I’ve been traveling NC, SC, and VA for three years telling the story of why my life changed, and Who changed it. If you need a life change, or want to be inspired by seeing the power of a changed life, listen to my raw, honest, and inspiring story that tells the true meaning of what Christians believe.

The post My story of finding true love and acceptance in a world full of rejection appeared first on Lisa Morgan Moore.

“You are such an inspiration!”

“Who, me?” I wonder. Dumbfounded, I look around, trying to figure out who she was talking about. I look at my life and I have no idea what she is talking about.

I see the struggle.
I see the pain.
I see the weakness.
I see the failure.

Surprisingly, others see something different in my life than what I see. Somehow, my life inspires them. I don’t share that with an arrogant spirit. I share it because I’m trying to figure out what that means. How can my life inspire others?  And what does that mean, anyway?

Mirriam-Webster defines the verb “inspire” in these ways:

a: to spur on : IMPEL, MOTIVATE
threats don’t necessarily inspire people to work
b: to exert an animating, enlivening, or exalting influence on
was particularly inspired by the Romanticists
c: AFFECT
seeing the old room again inspired him with nostalgia
d: to influence, move, or guide by divine or supernatural inspiration

So I started thinking about how my simple story could influence, encourage, or motivate others.

My story is one of redemption. When I was in high school and college, my life looked far different than it does today. I enjoyed drinking and drugs. I slept around. I cursed like a sailor. And as the consequences of my waywardness caught up with me, I hit rock bottom. There, in the pit that I dug myself, Jesus rescued me, and slowly changed me into a woman that loves God.  I travel and speak sharing this very story.  When people hear who I was, and see who I am now, they are inspired. Not by me, but by a God who can rescue anyone, no matter how far they have fallen. There is a God who is, like the father of the prodigal son, waiting and looking for the son to return. My story of returning, redemption, and transformation gives people hope that God can rescue those they love as well.  And that His grace is big enough for them, too.

The story of my son inspires. My son is now almost 23 years old. But twenty years ago, when he was three, he was diagnosed with autism. That was when we began to live the life we didn’t expect. The years have been full of struggle and uncertainty, but also joy.  My son is a walking miracle.  I will never forget watching him graduate from college with a BS in Computer Science. And he had the highest GPA in his class. When he walked down the aisle past me, I doubled over in tears.  I felt every emotion in that moment – the grief, the pain, the fear – but also such gratitude to God for pulling us through.

Since last fall, Greg has been working for the very organization that helped us after his diagnosis: the Autism Society of North Carolina. He is a counselor in their after school program here in Wilmington, spending his afternoons serving children with autism. He also spent three summers as a counselor serving children and adults with special needs at Camp Spearhead, which is five hours from home and in another state! Greg’s story is inspiring. But I can take only partial credit for his success. During years that I wanted to quit and to give in and when I worried myself to sleep, God was faithful. God met me in my lack and made up the difference. God found me in my denial and gave me the strength to face into autism and to help Greg. Greg, and a God who has been faithful to him, inspires.

The other aspect of my life that inspires people is my transparency. Honest to God, most of the time I truly hate the call of God on my life to be vulnerable. I would rather not tell about my struggles with suicidal thoughts and anxiety. I would prefer to keep quiet about how deeply hurt I was when someone unfriended me on Facebook. Can I please, God, keep quiet that I am seeing a therapist?

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Ya’ll, I’m not vulnerable about my struggles and imperfections and failures because I just like you a whole lot. I am transparent because God causes me to be. And this costs me more than you know. But God has given me a backbone of courage and that backbone is his unconditional love for me, his daughter. This God-given confidence enables me to be honest about my life so that you can find grace and hope for yours. I don’t like it. I don’t want to do it.  I complain about it a lot.  But the end result is that my gut honesty gives you hope that you “aren’t the only one” and it inspires you to be truthful with your own friends. But just remember:  this is God’s idea.  I just choose to obey.

When I look at my own life, it’s hard to see how I could inspire people. Because of my battle with anxiety, some days I struggle just to take the dog out front to pee or to get the mail. Apart from Jesus, I can’t talk on a stage or write the first encouraging word.  It is the very brokenness in my life allows Jesus in me to be seen.  People can see God’s grace-filled transformation of my my life when I share my shame-filled, immoral beginnings. People see a God of miracles when they know my story as the mother of a special needs child. People receive grace and hope when they hear that I, a Christian leader, am just as messed up as they are.

You know, even in the Bible, God used messed up people to make a difference in history and to inspire us today. Rahab, a harlot, saved Joshua from death by defying the government. Gideon, a fearful man, successfully defeated the enemies of Israel. David, a murderer and wife-snatcher, is known as a man after God’s own heart.   Did you know that they are held up in Hebrews Chapter 11 as examples of faith for us to emulate?  These broken, imperfect people inspire us.

If God can use their lives,  full of ups and downs and flat out failures, to inspire others, don’t you believe that He can use you, too?

No matter where you are in the process of becoming like Jesus, God can use you. In spite of failures, flaws, and imperfections. In spite of fear and grief and denial. All God needs to inspire someone is for you to allow Him to be seen through the mosaic of your life. All it takes is a little light to bring light into darkness.

Will you allow God to use you to inspire others today?

PS If you enjoyed reading this or it helped you, please take the time to comment, share, and spread the joy. Your comments and shares are very important to me! Thanks in advance. 

The post How you can live a life that inspires others appeared first on Lisa Morgan Moore.

I wanted to write and share with you about my mission trip to Costa Rica in late January.  If you follow me on Facebook or YouTube (Lisa Morgan Moore) then you know that before this trip, I was afraid to fly.  I had not been on a plane in almost 20 years.  Being afraid to fly is quite a hurdle for someone who is endeavoring to become a professional speaker!  I’ve know for a long time that I needed to overcome my fear of flying.  And in my mind the only way to conquer a fear was to face it down and “just do it.”

God’s grace met me right at the point of my fear.  I worked with my therapist for weeks, talking about the flight, how to handle anxiety, and what things would help me stay calm in the airport and on the plane.  I had snacks, chocolate, a blanket, a stuffed animal, my favorite necklace and on all my flights, I sat next to “Miss Addie,” who’s the “Mama” to everyone in our church.  She held my hand and I put my head on her shoulder during takeoff!  I was so proud of myself – while medication was in my “tool box” of things to help me get on the plane, I did not need it.  Courage got me on that plane.  I did it afraid.

This was my first time out of the country.   

And while I have seen poverty in the mountains of North Carolina, I’ve never seen poverty to the extent of living conditions in Costa Rica.  There were connected homes (like apartments) that did not have drywall for their shared walls but rather there was open chain link fence.  There were windows with no screens in a country with poisonous snakes and I heard stories of families members being bit and hospitalized for months.  There were homes with no walls at all, while, at the same time, you saw homes built with great wealth.  There was no middle class.  And while what I encountered broke my heart, I also met some of the most grateful, hospitable people I’ve ever met.  I came home with a new perspective on thankfulness, and less of a desire to complain.

I will not lie – some days were really hard for me. 

I like quiet.
I like peace.
I like my routine.

You don’t have any of that when you are traveling with a group.  And while I truly love (and even like) every person on my team, there were days that I got my feelings hurt.  When people tease me, sometimes it can go to far, and I get hurt.  Once, I even sobbed in the closet. In Costa Rica I learned to stand up for myself and say, “You’ve gone too far.”  But other times, honestly, I shut myself off and kept to myself.  Sometimes it’s safe that way, but it’s not healthy.  I tried my best to forgive and move on.  

I fell in love with people in Costa Rica! 

The sweet lady that cried as she prayed for her family.
The young woman who yearned for God to forgive her for wayward thoughts.
The gentleman who suffered a childhood that you would not wish on  your worst enemy. 

By God’s grace, He helped me to just love these dear ones.  AND I was communicate with them in Spanish.  Before the week was over, I was helping my team as an interpreter.  I’ve already connected with many of my new Costa Rican family over Facebook and Skype, and we continue to grow our friendships.  Now that I have overcome my fear fear of flying, I might be returning to Costa Rica to lead a ladies’ retreat.

Overcoming my fear of flying has opened doors for me – doors to return to this country, this tropical paradise, this place that is surely what the Garden of Eden was.  Unspoiled.  Pure.  Verdant.  It is surely a place where God’s creativity and imagination ran wild while He created it.  I want to see more of what He created.  Now, I can go to other states.  I can travel to other countries.  If God’s plan for my life is to travel the world and share the gospel, I can do it with the courage and strength He gives me.

Flying is still scary to me.  Don’t get me wrong.  But I am no longer made earthbound by a fear of flying.  That’s a thing of the past.

“Soy Libre!”  I am free!  While God still has a lot of work to do in the life of this over-prepared, control freak, anxious woman, I have already grown by leaps and bounds.

This gives me hope for what God can do through women like us to reach a lost and hurting world.

Isaiah 6:8  Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”

A staff member at my church, Daniel Christian, created this moving YouTube video of our trip:

And this video, which I filmed when I got home, was about my personal takeaways from the trip:

What about you?  What fears do you need to overcome to take your next steps?  Let me know at Lisa@LisaMorganMoore.com.  

PS If you enjoyed reading this or it helped you, please take the time to comment, share, and spread the joy. Your comments and shares are very important to me! Thanks in advance. 

The post Overcoming my fear of flying to go to Costa Rica appeared first on Lisa Morgan Moore.

Finally, declaring defeat. I broke down. I filled the prescription.

Me, during a debilitating anxiety attack

I will never forget how ashamed and weak I felt. I could preach on a stage, but I could not pack for a vacation without my heart racing. I could film videos and mentor young women, but I couldn’t potty the dog without a mental Everest.

What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I be normal?

We berate ourselves up with the “Why can’t I just…?” questions. Why can’t I get past this impenetrable grief? Why can’t I be happy with my appearance? Why can’t I just lose these last 15 pounds of baby weight?

I felt like such a failure. I had to stoop so low to take medication just to make it through my day.

A few days later, I confessed to my speaking mentor, Susan Ely, that I decided to “break down” and fill the prescription my doctor gave me. I will never forget, sitting in my car in the parking lot in front of the cleaners, when she replied:

“Perhaps, Lisa, instead of breaking down, you are reaching up for help.”

Perspective is everything, isn’t it? I viewed myself as a failure who couldn’t defeat a mental illness on my own. My wise friend Susan viewed me as someone brave enough to reach out and ask for help.

When Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, the sin of pride entered the world. And pride has kept humans from asking for help for millennia.

Before we had GPS on our phones, I know you knew a man who refused to stop and ask for directions when he was lost. Just sayin.’

Asking for help seems like weakness, like we aren’t smart enough or strong enough or brave enough to leap over life’s hurdles in our own strength.

After two years on medication, and feeling great, I found myself at another crossroads. After an intense period of travel, helping family, and seminary, anxiety got the best of me again. My heart raced even when I was doing those things that are relaxing and enjoyable, like making note cards or creating garden art.

Once again, I needed help. I had toyed with the idea of finding a therapist for months, but my pride, my stubborn human mantra of “I can do it all by myself” prevented me from reaching up for help.

It took a slap in the face to provoke me to action.  In a moment when I was really struggling, I was confronted with someone’s sincere belief that people had anxiety because they did not trust Jesus.  I think because stress and anxiety and fear are often lumped together, many people don’t differentiate between “anxiety” and “anxiety disorder.”

There is a difference between stress before you take a test (which can be called anxiety) and a debilitating mental disorder, also called anxiety, which prevents you from doing simply, daily tasks.

As a result of this confusion, many believe that if those of us who struggle with anxiety had more faith, we would be okay.  In lots of life’s situations, we believe that problems will go away if those who are struggling would try harder.  The depressed are encouraged to choose joy.  Those who are poor are encouraged to count their blessings.  The anxious are told to just trust Jesus.  And these are all good things to do, but when you are in a pit, being told to “just try harder” can feel counterproductive.

In reality, NO ONE KNEW just how hard I was trying to function.  My response to the equating of anxiety with faithlessness was to cry my eyes out and take to my bed for hours.  I was trying so hard hard and I was exhausted.  The enemy heaped condemnation on me and I just wanted to give up.  Thoughts of suicide crossed my mind, and that scared me. To be victorious in this battle, I conceded that I needed more help.

The next day I made an appointment with a therapist.

I reached up for help. And this time, instead of feeling like an overpowered failure of a person, I was so proud of myself…proud of myself for being brave enough to admit my weakness and ask for help.

I defeated pride and independence and reached out to another human who could help me.

I literally gave myself a pat on the back.

What about you – are there areas where you need to reach up for help?

Do you need to let some friends know about your struggle with suicidal thoughts?
Can you call your pastor and ask him or her to pray for your debilitating depression?
Can you make an appointment with your doctor to talk about your own struggle with anxiety disorder?

Wherever you need help, it is not a sign of defeat or weakness or failure to ask for it. Rather, asking for a help is an act of brave humility, a confession that these human bodies and minds that we inhabit are frail and imperfect and broken.

I know that ultimately, my hope is in God to heal me, but if He chooses medications and a therapist, who am I to argue?

Blindly,
boldly, and
bravely I follow His leading.
Not a failure.
But a wise woman who knows when to ask for help.

It’s been three months since I made that important phone call to see a therapist.  Although my life is not completely anxiety-free, I am having so many more good days than bad days.

All because I humbled myself and reached up for help.

Where do you need help today, my friend? Be brave, and ask for it. I’m right there with you.

If you want to know more about this journey of mine, enjoy this video that I made about it:

PS If you enjoyed reading this or it helped you, please take the time to comment, share, and spread the joy. Your comments and shares are very important to my ministry to struggling women. Thanks in advance. 

The post You’re not a failure if you admit that you need help appeared first on Lisa Morgan Moore.

Then SHE walked in.

I did not expect her to come. After all, for years I felt that she didn’t like me. Then after our “conflict,” I was pretty certain she didn’t care for me and she definitively intimated me. Why was SHE here? She was the last person in the world that I envisioned being here.

Nausea joined my stomach problems. Instead of peacefully trusting in God before I stepped up on the stage, I was sitting in my chair with my head between my knees. No joke. Trying to breathe. Trying not to throw up.

But then the time came for me to walk up on the stage, and I had no choice: I did what I had to do. I shakily walked up the steps and stood on that stage and taught the lesson I had prepared. In front of 75 people.  Including her.

These days, people often comment to me about how I don’t appear to be nervous when I speak or preach. And most of the time, I’m not. Speaking confidently in front of large groups of people is a skill I have painstakingly learned and developed over four years.

I didn’t start confidently. I started as a shaking, nervous, and nauseous Bible study teacher with her head between her knees, trying hard not to lose her dinner. That was my starting point. In that moment, I had a choice: to flee, or to bravely confront my fears.

“I’ve learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.  The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

My confidence in public speaking grew one scary speaking engagement at a time.

To reach your goals, you have to take one scary step at a time. I call them “baby steps.”  As I have been on this four year speaking journey, I have had successes. And failures. I have been lifted up, and I have been beaten down. I have wanted to quit many times.

In fact, there was was one point that I said I never wanted to stand on the stage at my church again.

But I did. I got back up. I didn’t quit. I have learned that as I have followed God’s leading, and have taken baby steps of obedience, God has met me there with courage. He has given me strength when I was scared. He has held me when I was sick. He has given me wisdom when things went wrong.

And He has picked me up when everything has fallen apart. And believe me, it has.

Growing brave, strong, and confident is a process. This process usually begins with a terrified baby step of obedience. It is followed by stumbles and victories, falls and celebrations, failures and successes. It is a process that is excruciating and hard. The key is to be persistent and not to quit when everything in you wants to.

“Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway.” – Dr. Robert Anthony

What dream have you given up on?
Where has fear paralyzed you?
Where has failure locked you in your past?
Where has the opinions and judgments of others kept you from achieving your dreams?
Where do you need courage?

Get back up. Don’t quit. Do it afraid.

I think of Gideon in the Bible. When God chose him to deliver Israel from the Midianites, he balked at God’s choice of Him.  He even argued with God!  Have you ever done that?

“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” (Judges 6:15)

He was scared, but he trusted God and he acted. He took a baby step of obedience and God met him there. He started out as a trembling scaredy cat, but as he bravely confronted his fears, he grew in confidence and became the valiant warrior God said he was.

When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” (Judges 6:12)

To achieve the dreams God has placed in your heart, you have to do the scary things, even if you are trembling and nauseous. You have to start small, but with each step, you will grow in confidence and trust that God will help you. You have to get up after you fall and skin your knees.

You can’t quit.

I have wanted to quit so many times. I’ve been defeated. I’ve been depressed. I’ve fought anxiety and burnout and migraines. But the dream to speak and encourage women gets me back up. I have learned how to be brave. I have done scary things. I have done the next right thing.

Persistence. Doing it afraid. Refusing to quit. That is my recipe for growing in courage and confidence.

What about you? What is your next step to achieving your dream?

PS If you enjoyed reading this or it helped you, please take the time to comment, share, and spread the joy. Your comments and shares are very important to me! Thanks in advance. 

The post How to grow in courage and confidence appeared first on Lisa Morgan Moore.

Why was it so hard for me? There were people out there who had hurt me. And I didn’t want to be hurt again.

I am on Facebook because it’s a way that I can reach and encourage others, and let people know about my writing and speaking ministry. But honestly, if I had my druthers, I would hide out at home, like a turtle, never sticking my head out. Alone. And safe.

But I’m not.
I’m here.
I’m obeying God.
And I’m “putting myself out there” in order to connect with others.

But I will confess. Sometimes I still hide.

“How do you hide,” you ask? “You are posting things publicly on Facebook.”

“Yes,” I reply. “You see my life. But you can’t see ME.”

I’ve learned that I can hide behind pictures of my children and my garden and my husband’s prophetic art. If I add in a Bible verse graphic or two, there’s a weeks worth of Facebook posts.

And you didn’t see me at all.

Sometimes I hide.

I hide because when I am brave and vulnerable enough to let people in to see the real me, I get hurt.

Nasty, sarcastic comments hurt me.  Being misunderstood hurts me.  And certainly being left out hurts.  And so I hide.

We all long for people to love us just like we are. To love our imperfections. To love where we lack. To love our quirkiness and odd sense of humor and crazy ideas we have. To love us in our weakness and brokenness and failure.

Our hearts cry, “Please love me. Please, let me be enough for you. Please don’t hurt me.”

When we poke our heads out of our shells, sometimes we get hurt. Good Lord, I have, and often that hurt turns into a blog post, just like this one.

But even though our reaction to being hurt is to hide, dear one, we can’t hide forever.

God made us to connect with each other. God made us to share the messiness of life together and to walk alongside one another in the good and the bad.  We are to bear one another’s burdens.  How can we do that if we are hiding?  How can we let people help us and how can we help others if we are hiding?

Friend, even if you’ve been hurt when you let people see the real you, be brave and come out again. Don’t hide forever! The world needs what you have to offer. Take a risk and share who you really are. We want to see the real you.

Because when we see the real you, we are brave enough to let you see who we are underneath all the hiding.

Beloved, please don’t hide behind cat videos and recipes and funny memes. I want to see you. The real you. The broken and in process you.  Seeing you be brave will give me the courage to be brave, too.  Because I’m just like you.

Don’t hide.  Let’s be real together.

PS If you enjoyed reading this or it helped you, please take the time to comment, share, and spread the joy. Your comments and shares are very important to me! Thanks in advance. 

The post Sometimes I hide, but people weren’t made to hide appeared first on Lisa Morgan Moore.

The past few years have been good for me friendship-wise. I have a small circle of close friends, and then a wider circle of women that I have mentored or have ministered to who have become friends. Spending time together does that! So I have felt full, and blessed, and thankful for my friendships.

I was not looking for a new friend. I didn’t think I needed a new friend. I definitely did not have time for a new friend!

But God thought differently.

About two years ago, a spunky, energetic lady named Pat Bradford began attending our church. I had heard good things about her and I felt a tug by God to get to know her. After about a month of praying, I invited her to my annual garden brunch. Then last summer, we had lunch together at her office. When we were both evacuated in the mountains during Hurricane Florence, I made the drive to visit her.

Slowly, and surely, we have gotten to know each other, learned to trust each other, and have become very comfortable in each other’s presence.

The best thing is this: She sits next to me in church.  She shares her chocolate.  And she brings a warm wool wrap, and if I am cold, she will share it with me.

Isn’t that what friendship is all about?

Another thing I love about Pat is that she likes to talk on the phone and I do, too. While I am putting on my makeup or driving to another city, we talk about anything and nothing.  And when I am leading the service at church, she is willing to serve, and right before I preach, she prays for me.

Recently, as I was thinking about our friendship, this thought dawned on me: “I didn’t know that I needed a friend.”

You see, my close circle of friends has changed in the last few years. One friend is burning the candle at both ends working in Wilmington and caring for her mother, who lives three hours away. One friend is busy tending to the needs of her very large family. Other friends are no longer at my church and I don’t see them as often.

Even though I am still friends with these ladies, the friendships are different now. We don’t have the same amount of time together or proximity.

We aren’t sitting together under the same warm wool wrap.

God knew that I needed something when I wasn’t even aware.  I had a void in my life and I didn’t even know it. I needed a new friend.  And God provided.

I needed a friend to share a ride to church events. I needed a friend to talk with on the phone. I needed a friend to cover up my cold feet during church.

And I got that in Pat.

I don’t know where you are in your friendships today. You may have a large circle of friends. Or you may be lonely and longing for companionship. The point is this: God knows your needs. And He knows the best way to fill them.

He knows what you have need of even when you are unaware of your need, like I was.

Go ahead and start thanking Him in advance for how He will, in His timing, send you exactly the friend that you need. And for your sake, I hope they will share their chocolate and warm you up if you get cold.

PS If you enjoyed reading this or it helped you, please take the time to comment, share, and spread the joy. Your comments and shares are very important to me! Thanks in advance. 

The post I didn’t know I needed a friend appeared first on Lisa Morgan Moore.

There are many times when God seems distant. He definitely feels distant when we have done something wrong and we are ashamed of our sin. Just like Eve in the garden of Eden, we hide from God when we have fallen into temptation and done wrong.  Also, there are times when we are doing everything right, but it feels like our prayers are hitting a glass ceiling. And then there are other times when it feels like our life is crumbling around us, and we ask in bewilderment, “God, where are you?”

I arrived at church needing to hear from God, to have an explanation of His distance.  In desperation, I got on my knees and poured my heart about before Him. I repented of everything I could think of, I asked forgiveness for any sin, and I asked Holy Spirit to fill me up. And I asked God why He was so far from me and why I felt so alone.  God, where are you?

Then I heard Jesus whisper in my ear, “There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

What was Jesus saying to me? First of all, He was affirming what He said in the gospels, that He was my friend.

Jesus was my friend.  He was telling me that He was close to me. In fact, He was closer to me than my own blood relations.

As I pondered this, I had a light bulb moment. How could Jesus be that close to me? The answer is that He lives inside of me. He sent His Holy Spirit to live in us, and Holy Spirit doesn’t take a vacation. He sticks with us through thick and thin, through struggle and trial, through distraction and temptation, through sin and holiness.  Jesus even prays for us. 

The Holy Spirit is an indelible, permanent resident in us.

I have a great circle of friends, but I admit, there are times when I feel lonely.  Friends don’t “do things” together like they used to.  My phone doesn’t ring.  And it seems like if I want to talk with my friends, I’m the one texting them.  I’m the one doing most of the work.  Sometimes I feel lonely and like no one cares.

But even when the doorbell doesn’t sound, the landline doesn’t ring, and my cell phone doesn’t ding with text message notifications, Jesus is there with me.  He said that He would NEVER leave me or forsake me.

and that He was with me ALWAYS.

Even when I feel alone.

I’m not alone.

And you aren’t either.  When you feel far from God, or even far from your friends, and like no one cares, remind yourself that Jesus, your friend, sticks close to you through it all.  You are never, ever alone.

The post I feel so alone. God, where are you? appeared first on Lisa Morgan Moore.

The question is always, “What do I wear?” I can’t remember what I ate yesterday, but I will never forget being in the ladies bathroom at the Landfall Country Club here in Wilmington. I was dressed in my frumpy mommy clothing, desperately trying to cover up leftover pregnancy weight, and the other wives were dressed like they could be on magazine covers. They looked like supermodels.

I will always remember one highfalutin lady in her sleeveless, silhouette “little black dress.”  And of course her arms were svelte and tan.

As for me, I had on a big black dress to hide my not-so-little silhouette.

After many such occasions of feeling like the ugly duckling among the elegant swans, I decided to “up my game” and try to fit in with these ladies. There was an upcoming GE event, so I went shopping and bought a beautiful pantsuit from Steinmart. It was sleeveless (a stretch for me and my flabby triceps) and the pants had a fringe of little Swavorski-like crystals.

Of course, I bought the jewelry to match. I even took it to the cleaners to have the top taken in so it would show off my small rib cage. I bought some black sandals with heels, which hurt my feet, but I was willing to pay the price to look nice.

I was set. I was going to fit in with those country club women!  And shoot, I might even outshine them!  

We went to the event, which was held at Airlie Gardens.

When we arrived at the tent under the famed Airlie Oak, I was shocked at what I saw. The women were not wearing dressy outfits. They were not even wearing church-type attire.

They were wearing T-shirt’s.
And shorts.
And tennis shoes.
Or flip flops.

Darn.

I was totally overdressed.  I was mortified. And besides being emotionally distraught, I was physically uncomfortable. The sun was blazing hot, and I was dressed in black. The large lawn under the Airlie Oak was uneven, and I was chasing my children over that lawn in heels, sinking into holes left behind by tunneling moles.

I paid the price that day for my own vanity.

What was I trying to cover up in my black, crystal-trimmed pant suit with matching jewelry?  My own insecurity. My feelings of feeling less than and not good enough. My recurring emotions of not fitting in.

In the Bible, Jesus himself had something to say about my problem.  The culture he lived in two thousand years ago had the same problem. The gospel writer, John, who spent a lot of with Jesus, penned these words in 1 John 2:15,

I had loved the world and the praise of the world.  I had tried to conform in order to be accepted.  I confess, this is a huge struggle for me, especially as I get older. I admit, I want to look pretty. I want to be fashionable. Deep down I probably even want to be noticed or admired.

But this is not the kingdom that Jesus created. He inaugurated a kingdom where the greatest person in the kingdom is the one who behaves as if He is the least. He gave us an example: Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve.

Jesus’ focus was not on himself, but on others.

You, too, have probably tried to dress to outshine someone or to fit in. But what if we took a different approach, an approach that is less self-centered and more others-focused?

What if instead of worrying and shopping and primping and taking pictures of the final product, what if we instead spent time praying for those we were going to meet? What if we prepared our hearts to love them and listen to them and may even sprinkle in a few spiritual comments?  Let’s try that one on for size.

I, for one, am convicted. Our social occasions should not be so much about us (and how we look) but about others.

The next time I go to a corporate gathering, I’m going to wear a new outfit. Humility and love.

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