At times, it looks like my walk-in closet has exploded all over my bathroom. There are shirts laying on the tub. Tank tops on the rugs. And two or three hangers of pants on the door knob.

Have you ever planned to wear a certain outfit, and when you put it on, it just didn’t work? Then you begin the mad dash of figuring out something else to wear.  You also have to decide which shoes to wear and what color jewelry matches your outfit.  Since you are now running late, you don’t have time to clean up after yourself as you try on outfit after outfit.

As you rush out the door, you leave clothes strewn behind you. And most likely you leave your peace behind as well.

I have always hated to be late. I thought that I just possessed that esteemed quality of punctuality. I believed that I was trying to be responsible and that I wanted to honor the time of other people. I thought that my innate drive to be on time was a good thing.

But as I have grown older and matured, I have learned that my constant striving for punctuality is because I am afraid. I’m afraid that I will be rejected if I am late. I live in fear of being eschewed for being imperfect.

Ahhh, perfectionism.

It pushes me, yells at me, and loudly screams at me that I’m going to be late. And that is just not allowed. I must be perfect so that people will like me, and perhaps even love me.  I must make everyone happy.

Recently I had two friends who gave me permission to be imperfect, and oh, what a breath of fresh air it was!

I have a new friend named Pat and we had plans to have lunch together.

I was going to join her at her office around 12:15 p.m. I had planned out all of my errands in order to be punctual and perfect. But I hadn’t planned on the closing of my favorite Harris Teeter store and the groceries I needed being unavailable.  At noon, I was in a second Harris Teeter store, rushing around with a racing heart, hoping to make it to lunch on time.  Then I got a text from Pat. She said these grace-filled words:

“…I give you permission to be late if you’d like to.”

When that text came through, I took a deep breath, slowed down, and began to relax. I could be late. It was okay. I would be loved anyway. I had permission to be imperfect.  So I enjoyed the grace extended to me and I was late. And very relaxed when I arrived!

The following week, I was rushing about town helping my daughter prepare to go back to college. I had a jam-packed day, but I wanted to deliver a gift to a friend as I was going to be on her side of town. I kept texting her updates, letting her know if I thought I would be able to come, or not.

I didn’t want to seem so busy that I couldn’t make time for her.

As I was rushing and striving to do everything and please everyone, she sent me a text. She said,

”Don’t push yourself. I will still love you the same if you can’t come today.”

She gave me grace. She would love me the same whether I pleased her or not. She gave me permission to be imperfect.

These two friends had NO IDEA how much I needed the grace they freely offered to me. They chose to love me, no matter if I was late or didn’t even show up. They chose to love me anyway.

These friends have inspired me to offer the same grace to my friends. I want to give my friends the permission to be imperfect.

A few days later, a neighbor of mine accidentally broke the dryer vent on the outside of my house when she was picking up a plant I had been “plant sitting.” She said she was “horrified,” so I texted her:

“Your friendship is far more important to me than some plastic dryer vent that has been rotting in the sun!”

I gave her grace. I loved her anyway.  I was given permission to be imperfect, so I paid it forward.  We ALL need permission to be imperfect, so let’s share that freedom with others.

PS Wilmington friends, I have two upcoming speaking engagements at Global River Church.  This Wednesday, April 3rd, I will be teaching a Bible study called “Salvation Made Simple: Five Aspects of your salvation that you really need to know.”  It is from 6:30 – 8:00 pm in the church sanctuary (4702 South College Road).  Then, on Tuesday, April 9th, I will be speaking to the women’s group about how to live confidently in Christ and to stop apologizing for ourselves.  That meeting is also 6:30 – 8:00 pm, in the cafe off the main sanctuary.  Feel free to email me any questions!

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