My stomach was in knots. Butterflies, grumblings, and cramps swirled around while I waited for the church service to begin. It was January, 2015, and it was my very first time teaching a Wednesday night Bible study at my church. I was prepared, but scared. I looked around the room and saw about 75 people. Oh, Lord, help me.

Then SHE walked in.

I did not expect her to come. After all, for years I felt that she didn’t like me. Then after our “conflict,” I was pretty certain she didn’t care for me and she definitively intimated me. Why was SHE here? She was the last person in the world that I envisioned being here.

Nausea joined my stomach problems. Instead of peacefully trusting in God before I stepped up on the stage, I was sitting in my chair with my head between my knees. No joke. Trying to breathe. Trying not to throw up.

But then the time came for me to walk up on the stage, and I had no choice: I did what I had to do. I shakily walked up the steps and stood on that stage and taught the lesson I had prepared. In front of 75 people.  Including her.

These days, people often comment to me about how I don’t appear to be nervous when I speak or preach. And most of the time, I’m not. Speaking confidently in front of large groups of people is a skill I have painstakingly learned and developed over four years.

I didn’t start confidently. I started as a shaking, nervous, and nauseous Bible study teacher with her head between her knees, trying hard not to lose her dinner. That was my starting point. In that moment, I had a choice: to flee, or to bravely confront my fears.

“I’ve learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.  The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

My confidence in public speaking grew one scary speaking engagement at a time.

To reach your goals, you have to take one scary step at a time. I call them “baby steps.”  As I have been on this four year speaking journey, I have had successes. And failures. I have been lifted up, and I have been beaten down. I have wanted to quit many times.

In fact, there was was one point that I said I never wanted to stand on the stage at my church again.

But I did. I got back up. I didn’t quit. I have learned that as I have followed God’s leading, and have taken baby steps of obedience, God has met me there with courage. He has given me strength when I was scared. He has held me when I was sick. He has given me wisdom when things went wrong.

And He has picked me up when everything has fallen apart. And believe me, it has.

Growing brave, strong, and confident is a process. This process usually begins with a terrified baby step of obedience. It is followed by stumbles and victories, falls and celebrations, failures and successes. It is a process that is excruciating and hard. The key is to be persistent and not to quit when everything in you wants to.

“Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway.” – Dr. Robert Anthony

What dream have you given up on?
Where has fear paralyzed you?
Where has failure locked you in your past?
Where has the opinions and judgments of others kept you from achieving your dreams?
Where do you need courage?

Get back up. Don’t quit. Do it afraid.

I think of Gideon in the Bible. When God chose him to deliver Israel from the Midianites, he balked at God’s choice of Him.  He even argued with God!  Have you ever done that?

“Pardon me, my lord,” Gideon replied, “but how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family.” (Judges 6:15)

He was scared, but he trusted God and he acted. He took a baby step of obedience and God met him there. He started out as a trembling scaredy cat, but as he bravely confronted his fears, he grew in confidence and became the valiant warrior God said he was.

When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” (Judges 6:12)

To achieve the dreams God has placed in your heart, you have to do the scary things, even if you are trembling and nauseous. You have to start small, but with each step, you will grow in confidence and trust that God will help you. You have to get up after you fall and skin your knees.

You can’t quit.

I have wanted to quit so many times. I’ve been defeated. I’ve been depressed. I’ve fought anxiety and burnout and migraines. But the dream to speak and encourage women gets me back up. I have learned how to be brave. I have done scary things. I have done the next right thing.

Persistence. Doing it afraid. Refusing to quit. That is my recipe for growing in courage and confidence.

What about you? What is your next step to achieving your dream?

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