My thirty minute talk is finished and I’m standing at the door greeting women as they leave. Some walk on by, some give me a hug, and some give let me know how my message impacted them.

“You are such an inspiration!”

“Who, me?” I wonder. Dumbfounded, I look around, trying to figure out who she was talking about. I look at my life and I have no idea what she is talking about.

I see the struggle.
I see the pain.
I see the weakness.
I see the failure.

Surprisingly, others see something different in my life than what I see. Somehow, my life inspires them. I don’t share that with an arrogant spirit. I share it because I’m trying to figure out what that means. How can my life inspire others?  And what does that mean, anyway?

Mirriam-Webster defines the verb “inspire” in these ways:

a: to spur on : IMPEL, MOTIVATE
threats don’t necessarily inspire people to work
b: to exert an animating, enlivening, or exalting influence on
was particularly inspired by the Romanticists
c: AFFECT
seeing the old room again inspired him with nostalgia
d: to influence, move, or guide by divine or supernatural inspiration

So I started thinking about how my simple story could influence, encourage, or motivate others.

My story is one of redemption. When I was in high school and college, my life looked far different than it does today. I enjoyed drinking and drugs. I slept around. I cursed like a sailor. And as the consequences of my waywardness caught up with me, I hit rock bottom. There, in the pit that I dug myself, Jesus rescued me, and slowly changed me into a woman that loves God.  I travel and speak sharing this very story.  When people hear who I was, and see who I am now, they are inspired. Not by me, but by a God who can rescue anyone, no matter how far they have fallen. There is a God who is, like the father of the prodigal son, waiting and looking for the son to return. My story of returning, redemption, and transformation gives people hope that God can rescue those they love as well.  And that His grace is big enough for them, too.

The story of my son inspires. My son is now almost 23 years old. But twenty years ago, when he was three, he was diagnosed with autism. That was when we began to live the life we didn’t expect. The years have been full of struggle and uncertainty, but also joy.  My son is a walking miracle.  I will never forget watching him graduate from college with a BS in Computer Science. And he had the highest GPA in his class. When he walked down the aisle past me, I doubled over in tears.  I felt every emotion in that moment – the grief, the pain, the fear – but also such gratitude to God for pulling us through.

Since last fall, Greg has been working for the very organization that helped us after his diagnosis: the Autism Society of North Carolina. He is a counselor in their after school program here in Wilmington, spending his afternoons serving children with autism. He also spent three summers as a counselor serving children and adults with special needs at Camp Spearhead, which is five hours from home and in another state! Greg’s story is inspiring. But I can take only partial credit for his success. During years that I wanted to quit and to give in and when I worried myself to sleep, God was faithful. God met me in my lack and made up the difference. God found me in my denial and gave me the strength to face into autism and to help Greg. Greg, and a God who has been faithful to him, inspires.

The other aspect of my life that inspires people is my transparency. Honest to God, most of the time I truly hate the call of God on my life to be vulnerable. I would rather not tell about my struggles with suicidal thoughts and anxiety. I would prefer to keep quiet about how deeply hurt I was when someone unfriended me on Facebook. Can I please, God, keep quiet that I am seeing a therapist?

https://thehappygivers.com/products/its-ok-white-ceramic-mugs?_pos=9&_sid=6760b774a&_ss=r

Ya’ll, I’m not vulnerable about my struggles and imperfections and failures because I just like you a whole lot. I am transparent because God causes me to be. And this costs me more than you know. But God has given me a backbone of courage and that backbone is his unconditional love for me, his daughter. This God-given confidence enables me to be honest about my life so that you can find grace and hope for yours. I don’t like it. I don’t want to do it.  I complain about it a lot.  But the end result is that my gut honesty gives you hope that you “aren’t the only one” and it inspires you to be truthful with your own friends. But just remember:  this is God’s idea.  I just choose to obey.

When I look at my own life, it’s hard to see how I could inspire people. Because of my battle with anxiety, some days I struggle just to take the dog out front to pee or to get the mail. Apart from Jesus, I can’t talk on a stage or write the first encouraging word.  It is the very brokenness in my life allows Jesus in me to be seen.  People can see God’s grace-filled transformation of my my life when I share my shame-filled, immoral beginnings. People see a God of miracles when they know my story as the mother of a special needs child. People receive grace and hope when they hear that I, a Christian leader, am just as messed up as they are.

You know, even in the Bible, God used messed up people to make a difference in history and to inspire us today. Rahab, a harlot, saved Joshua from death by defying the government. Gideon, a fearful man, successfully defeated the enemies of Israel. David, a murderer and wife-snatcher, is known as a man after God’s own heart.   Did you know that they are held up in Hebrews Chapter 11 as examples of faith for us to emulate?  These broken, imperfect people inspire us.

If God can use their lives,  full of ups and downs and flat out failures, to inspire others, don’t you believe that He can use you, too?

No matter where you are in the process of becoming like Jesus, God can use you. In spite of failures, flaws, and imperfections. In spite of fear and grief and denial. All God needs to inspire someone is for you to allow Him to be seen through the mosaic of your life. All it takes is a little light to bring light into darkness.

Will you allow God to use you to inspire others today?

PS If you enjoyed reading this or it helped you, please take the time to comment, share, and spread the joy. Your comments and shares are very important to me! Thanks in advance. 

 

Sharing is caring. If this post encouraged you, will you share it on Facebook so that it could bless your friends,too? Thanks for helping me to reach more struggling women with encouragement, hope, and grace.