This blog post begins where so many of my posts begin: from a tender moment that occurs while I am enjoying my morning coffee and nature. Today I’m on the porch of a 100 year old cottage in the mountains. I’m in a rocking chair (of course), covered with a fuzzy blanket (because the mountains are cool in June) and water from last night’s rain is dripping on my head from the tree above me.
And the best part is that my ears are full of the sounds of birds and streams and peace.
After I finally got settled in my rocking my chair and arranged my blanket just right, I leaned back and closed my eyes. I took a deep cleansing breath, exhaling and letting the cares of the world drop off of me. I so often long to be alone, and I wonder if it’s because when I am finally still and quiet and alone, I connect with God. Not in a strange metaphysical or esoteric way, but I just start to talk to Him.
Today I started thanking Him for all of His blessings. That is so easy to do because His blessings are all around us. I thanked Him for the ones I could see – like the sunshine on the leaves of the maple trees and the sunlight on the mountain in the distance. I thanked Him for my family and then, as it often does, my mind went to this crazy journey of ministry that I am on.
The ministry that was just a dream in my heart for so many years- traveling and speaking about Jesus – is happening. I’m speaking at least once a month for Stonecroft Ministries – traveling all over the Carolinas and Virginia and meeting some amazing ladies. I still have my blog – with you my faithful ones – where I can share my heart. And my church is so gracious to allow me to teach Bible studies on Wednesday nights and to make the announcements.
But recently I bravely asked my senior pastor if I could stand in His pulpit and preach on a Sunday morning. He said Yes.
On Sunday, July 8th, I will take a huge step in this ministry journey and preach on a Sunday morning. This may not seem big to you, but to me, it is a humbling, weighty, God-fearing responsibility that I do not take it lightly.
So as I thanked God that I “get to preach” and for the upcoming Bible study I am teaching, I was overwhelmed with a God-fearing humility that words can’t adequately describe. Why me? I can clearly see myself – my sin and my frailty and my inadequacy and my failures – and I wonder how God could use someone like me. I feel so weak.
With tears rolling down my face I simply asked, “God, why me?” I considered, of all the people He could choose to re-present Him through writing, speaking, teaching, and preaching, why would He choose me? Why do I get to hold the microphone and teach the Bible and speak about Jesus?
His answer to me was simple, yet astute – “Why NOT you?”
This is the God who used a fearful man – Gideon – to defeat the Midianites. He used a man that ran from conflict – Elijah – to bring an end to the evil acts of Jezebel. He used 12 disciples – who themselves were at times prideful, impulsive, and failures – to learn from Jesus and then change the world.
God delights in using weak human beings to accomplish His purposes. In fact, He has no other choice. We are the only vessels on the earth that He can work through.
Yes, we are weak and easily distracted and so quickly fall into temptation, but we also have His Holy Spirit – the very essence of God Himself – within us. That’s the only way that we can accomplish anything for His Kingdom – by the power and empowering grace of Holy Spirit.
Why does God choose us to be His re-presentatives to a lost a dying world?
Because we are willing.
Because we are available.
And because His Holy Spirit lives in us.
Even if we are weak.
You may look at yourself and see your weakness and failures so clearly, just like I do. Yet God looks at you and sees those things, yes, but what catches His eye is your willingness and desire to serve Him. He has no problem working through weak and imperfect vessels. So He chooses you to work through. Does it blow your mind like it does mine?
Why you? I don’t know. But God says, quite clearly, “Why NOT you?”
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