Tag Archives: ministry

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When you can’t see your future, just close your eyes

I met with my mentor this past week. We meet monthly over coffee and we talk about my family, my health, and ministry, among other things. I knew this month that I needed a lot of her wisdom. Do you know that she has all of her wisdom teeth? No wonder she is a wise woman.

When she asked about ministry, I just sighed. I have a blog, but I am tired of its name. I’m a writer, but I don’t feel like writing. I’ve been trying to spearhead a speaking ministry for three years, but no churches are calling with invitations. And I start seminary this month.

Mostly, I’m confused. When I envision my future, this is all I can see:

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God will use your weakness to help others

People have always loved to tease me. Maybe its because I’m 4’10” and I’ve always been a bit gullible. When I was a child, my brother teased me by telling me that I was adopted. Anyone who looked at my petite shape and my mother’s (and my grandmother’s) would know that wasn’t true, but they had me going. And sometimes I played along as the dumb blond, making it all the more fun.

My brother took advantage of my gullibility by giving me some advice as well.  When I was little, I thought my nose was big.  Being a helpful older brother, he told me that if I did “nose exercises” by wiggling my nose back and forth, my nose would “lose weight” and be smaller.  I faithfully exercised my  nose but there was no change.  Thanks, bro!

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Jesus, please don’t leave me standing at the altar

I work out most of my life’s problems when I take a walk with Jesus each morning. While the humidity hugs my skin and the song of the birds fills my ears, I talk about my problems with Jesus.

On this day, I was preparing to write a message called “Hold on to Hope.” But the problem was that I felt totally unequipped and unqualified to teach anyone about hope. I had not been a stellar example of holding on to hope myself. I needed someone to teach ME how to do it!

As I poured out my fears and concerns to Jesus, I pleaded for Him to help me, to show up, and to supernaturally give me the words. I entreated Him not to abandon me now.

“Jesus,” I begged, “please don’t leave me standing at the altar.”

Altar

                Photo by Shardayyy Photography on Unsplash

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Can someone else do your job better than you?

I stood with my eyes open during praise and worship and watched everything going on around me.  I should have been focused on God and singing with joy, but my mind was distracted by the women around me.  They were hugging on each other, prophesying over each other, and down on the floor in tears together.  And I was standing there, alone, with really no desire to be doing any of those things at that moment.

Which is a problem since I am the Ladies Ministry Leader at my church.

vulnerability

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Who am I to think I have a ministry?

Four years ago, when my children were entering high school, I sought the Lord about what I was going to do when they were out of my nest.  One of the things He directed me to do was to attend Proverbs 31 Ministries “She Speaks” conference.  At that conference, I learned the steps I needed to take to have a speaking ministry.  For the past six years, I have spoken and taught at my church, but I felt like God was calling me to move outside the walls of my church and speak in front of more groups of women.

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I’m courageously launching a speaking ministry

I remember the moment as if it were yesterday.  I was at a prayer meeting at my church.   For many years I went to a Friday morning prayer meeting, dragging along my homeschooling kids with their backpacks full of workbooks.  And now the children were entering high school.  I looked at them, and me, and them, and me, wondering what “me” would look like after “them.” What would I do when they left home?

God spoke to me three things, and like a good little type A personality, I made a list:
1) Become a trained Precept Inductive Bible study teacher
2) Attend “She Speaks,” the Proverbs 31 Ministries conference for speakers, leaders, and writers; and
3) Learn Spanish.speaking ministry

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5 priceless gifts that you can give to your Pastor’s Wife

You see her every Sunday.  She comes rushing in, perhaps a little late, and finds her seat near the front row of the church.  Her arms are weighed down with stuff: her purse, her Bible and perhaps a diaper bag.  She plops her belongings down on the floor and takes a seat, and looks around to smile at everyone.  You imagine how wonderful her life must be, to be the wife of the pastor.  You make eye contact with her, smile, and nod your head.

Then perhaps your mind wanders a bit. Why wasn’t she at the last women’s outreach?  Why is her kid running wild through the sanctuary?  Why didn’t she reply to your last email?  Isn’t her skirt a little too short for a Sunday morning?  Why did she have dinner in a pub and post the picture on Facebook?   It’s easy to find a lot of ways to tear her down.  She is a pastor’s wife, after all, and you hold her to a very high standard.

Friends, she’s a woman, just like you, with insecurities, worries, wounds and fears.  Like you, she has a dishes to wash, bills to pay, kids to shuttle, and calls to return.  She also carries the burden of the church along with her husband.  She often has dinner alone. This woman needs help and support, not judgment and isolation.  You can be the source of help and support.   Yes, you.

amber

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God chooses and uses the weak, insecure, ill-equipped, and inadequate

I was minding my own business, sitting in my Bible study chair and reading through my journal.  God and I were talking about my leadership of my churches ladies’ ministry.  I fiercely love the women that I lead, but I struggle with the confrontation that is involved with leadership.  I’ve been growing as a leader in this area, but working through conflict is still extremely hard for my sensitive tender-hearted self.

I was reading back through my journal and seeing where God had sent people to encourage me in my leadership journey.  I was reading the kind and sweet things they had said when I suddenly burst out in tears.  A deep, agonizing prayer came from within me:  “GOD, I CAN’T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU.”

prayersmall

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Can God use you where you don’t feel gifted?

“I AM A WRITER!”   The words came flying out of my mouth and took me by surprise.  I was taking my morning walk and talking with God in the cool of the day and bloop!  Out popped those words.  “Me?  A writer?” I questioned.  I might as well have said that I was a fireman or a fisherman or a pro basketball player.

Well, why not a writer?  I write, don’t I?

WriterSmall
But the thing is, I’ve always said that I wasn’t good at writing. I am more the STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) girl.  In high school, I excelled in Calculus and Physics and Chemistry but struggled in English.  Like, the worst grade that I made in high school was in English.  The math and science concepts gelled in my mind like flies to flypaper but words and grammar and poetry always alluded me.   They still do.  Seriously.

Don’t ask me to analyze a poem.  I’d rather have five root canals without novocaine.

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Can you say, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain?”

I’ve been a follower of Jesus for almost 25 years.  From the early days of my salvation, I have loved God’s word.  One of the passages that has always alluded me is Philippians 1:21: “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

Christ

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose.  But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better;  yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake.  Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith,  so that your proud confidence in me may abound in Christ Jesus through my coming to you again.  Philippians 1:21-26 NASB

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