The last few months of my life have been filled with some emotional drama. Conflict that I have had with trusted friends led to my heart being broken. In my brokenness, I wanted to give up. Everything. At times, even my life. Every day I would hound heaven with questions, trying to understand why I was so broken emotionally. I sought the Lord for His help and deliverance from this place of unrelenting sadness.
When I was growing up, there were two girls my age that lived in my neighborhood, Kim and Ashley. Sometimes the three of us got along well and played contentedly, but most often, we were fighting. Ashley and I would decide to “gang up” on Kim and we would play together and leave her out.
Lisa & Ashley
Then, Ashley and I would get in a fight and we would switch, and Kim and I would play together and leave Ashley out. What I hated the most was when Kim and Ashley would “gang up” on me and leave me out. It hurt.
I’m all grown up now but I still have the desire that people would like me. I believe that no matter how old and mature you are, you have an innate desire to be liked, loved, and accepted. I know that I do. (more…)
Sharing is caring. If this post encouraged you, will you share it on Facebook so that it could bless your friends,too? Thanks for helping me to reach more struggling women with encouragement, hope, and grace.It seems that the older I get the more I dress like my mother: bright colors, flashy jewelry, matching shoes. She’s a fashionable older woman who shops at Steinmart and Chico’s…you know the type! I haven’t yet started buying animal prints, but anything can happen! Add some “big hair” and lip gloss and I can be quite the sight! I know that we should not put so much stock in our outward appearance, but sometimes dressing up can help us to feel better. Here is me with some lip gloss:
I felt like a lamb led to the slaughter. I was going to a social event and I was aware that someone would be there who did not like me. I know that sounds very grade school-ish, but come on, girls, be real….we all want to be liked. But there are times when God will require us to go into situations where we are not accepted. It is a really hard thing to do, and it takes a lot of guts. Frankly, I was scared.
Recently my friend Pastor Heather Arnold taught during our Sunday morning service at Global River Church. She taught about how about how our beliefs influence our actions and our faith. In classic Heather Arnold style, she made a case for how we should be governed by our spirit, and not by our mind, our will and our emotions. When she started teaching about emotions, she had my full attention.
To most of my friends, I am their stable friend. I seem to be fairly sensible and consistent, and am not drawn in by the latest trend or teaching. I am often sharing what I have learned with them during my morning Bible study…the teacher in me just can’t help but to offer my friends a morsel of wisdom in a situation they are facing. On the outside, yes, I am pretty stable. But on the inside, I am a quagmire of emotions! I can’t tell you how often I break down in tears at the cash register of Harris Teeter or with the Toyota service advisor. Some days, I’m just a mess.
Heather taught about how our lives should not be led by our feelings. Then she led us in an exercise to ask God what lies we are believing that are influencing our feelings, and thus our decisions, our thoughts, and our beliefs. When I shut my eyes and humbly asked God what lie I was believing, He spoke one word loud and clear:
DISAPPROVAL
