My thirty minute talk is finished and I’m standing at the door greeting women as they leave. Some walk on by, some give me a hug, and some give let me know how my message impacted them.
“You are such an inspiration!”
“Who, me?” I wonder. Dumbfounded, I look around, trying to figure out who she was talking about. I look at my life and I have no idea what she is talking about.
I see the struggle.
I see the pain.
I see the weakness.
I see the failure.
Vulnerability is a good weight loss plan. Facing my impending doom, I couldn’t eat lunch or dinner. My stomach was in knots from all of the butterflies fluttering around in there. God had asked me to do something HARD, and I dreaded it all day long, sunup to sundown. Like a lamb lead to the slaughter, I went to teach my Philippians Bible study.
Sharing is caring. If this post encouraged you, will you share it on Facebook so that it could bless your friends,too? Thanks for helping me to reach more struggling women with encouragement, hope, and grace.It is time to go to sleep. My head is on the pillow, my eyes are closed, but the tears are flowing. Two hours ago I taught an amazing Bible study. People were encouraged. People were challenged. People met God. I should be filled with joy but instead my soul is tossing and turning with guilt and shame. I taught tonight about being like Jesus, but in the quiet of my home, I feel as far from it as possible. Everyone around me has faith to believe that God will heal my chronic migraines, but I’m sorry, I’m just not convinced. I struggle to believe.
I close my eyes tight and ask God, “What is wrong with me? How can I teach your Word with great power and anointing, but I can’t believe you will do the simplest of things for me? People think that I’m this great woman of God, but really I’m not. I don’t have a steadfast faith that is able to weather the storms. I am not able to ask that you will heal me, believing that you will, because really, I’m not sure (Mark 11:34). I know that You can heal me, but I’m not certain that You will. (more…)
Sharing is caring. If this post encouraged you, will you share it on Facebook so that it could bless your friends,too? Thanks for helping me to reach more struggling women with encouragement, hope, and grace.The stage lights are up and the stage sits empty, waiting for her to come up. She is praying fervently in her seat that it will go well. She looks to her husband and friend and whispers, “Pray for me.” It’s almost time. She studies her notes one last time and prays for God to give her the words to say. And then it is time. The pastor of the church calls her up. Her heart flutters as she hears his words:
“Lisa, come on up and make the announcements.”
Sharing is caring. If this post encouraged you, will you share it on Facebook so that it could bless your friends,too? Thanks for helping me to reach more struggling women with encouragement, hope, and grace.
