My husband, Brian, is an executive at General Electric and through the years, we’ve had many occasions to go to company dinners at country clubs and golf resorts. These events have always been hard for me!  I’m a down-to-earth girl who grew up roaming her grandmother’s farm, and I would much rather eat a burger and fries at Five Guys than a fancy meal at an expensive restaurant.

The question is always, “What do I wear?” I can’t remember what I ate yesterday, but I will never forget being in the ladies bathroom at the Landfall Country Club here in Wilmington. I was dressed in my frumpy mommy clothing, desperately trying to cover up leftover pregnancy weight, and the other wives were dressed like they could be on magazine covers. They looked like supermodels.

I will always remember one highfalutin lady in her sleeveless, silhouette “little black dress.”  And of course her arms were svelte and tan.

As for me, I had on a big black dress to hide my not-so-little silhouette.

After many such occasions of feeling like the ugly duckling among the elegant swans, I decided to “up my game” and try to fit in with these ladies. There was an upcoming GE event, so I went shopping and bought a beautiful pantsuit from Steinmart. It was sleeveless (a stretch for me and my flabby triceps) and the pants had a fringe of little Swavorski-like crystals.

Of course, I bought the jewelry to match. I even took it to the cleaners to have the top taken in so it would show off my small rib cage. I bought some black sandals with heels, which hurt my feet, but I was willing to pay the price to look nice.

I was set. I was going to fit in with those country club women!  And shoot, I might even outshine them!  

We went to the event, which was held at Airlie Gardens.

When we arrived at the tent under the famed Airlie Oak, I was shocked at what I saw. The women were not wearing dressy outfits. They were not even wearing church-type attire.

They were wearing T-shirt’s.
And shorts.
And tennis shoes.
Or flip flops.

Darn.

I was totally overdressed.  I was mortified. And besides being emotionally distraught, I was physically uncomfortable. The sun was blazing hot, and I was dressed in black. The large lawn under the Airlie Oak was uneven, and I was chasing my children over that lawn in heels, sinking into holes left behind by tunneling moles.

I paid the price that day for my own vanity.

What was I trying to cover up in my black, crystal-trimmed pant suit with matching jewelry?  My own insecurity. My feelings of feeling less than and not good enough. My recurring emotions of not fitting in.

In the Bible, Jesus himself had something to say about my problem.  The culture he lived in two thousand years ago had the same problem. The gospel writer, John, who spent a lot of with Jesus, penned these words in 1 John 2:15,

I had loved the world and the praise of the world.  I had tried to conform in order to be accepted.  I confess, this is a huge struggle for me, especially as I get older. I admit, I want to look pretty. I want to be fashionable. Deep down I probably even want to be noticed or admired.

But this is not the kingdom that Jesus created. He inaugurated a kingdom where the greatest person in the kingdom is the one who behaves as if He is the least. He gave us an example: Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve.

Jesus’ focus was not on himself, but on others.

You, too, have probably tried to dress to outshine someone or to fit in. But what if we took a different approach, an approach that is less self-centered and more others-focused?

What if instead of worrying and shopping and primping and taking pictures of the final product, what if we instead spent time praying for those we were going to meet? What if we prepared our hearts to love them and listen to them and may even sprinkle in a few spiritual comments?  Let’s try that one on for size.

I, for one, am convicted. Our social occasions should not be so much about us (and how we look) but about others.

The next time I go to a corporate gathering, I’m going to wear a new outfit. Humility and love.

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